He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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