Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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