Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
