ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
