when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
