One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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