woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
did i just pee glitter
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
