is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
