belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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