Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize