jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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