Dual....:-)
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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