Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
