All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
