Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
