Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
