you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
