Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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