i barfeds in our rink
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
