So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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