literally had 100 drinks last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
