Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
