her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We need to rekindle our bromance
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
