at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
