"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
