So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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