Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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