We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
