she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
