he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
