Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
