i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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