Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
