I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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