that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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