C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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