I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
