im drinking this country out of the recession.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
