The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
