i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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