Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
