Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Randomize
