so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
