Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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