So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
