How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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