so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
