We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
