Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize