Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
