It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
sex in a hospital.. check
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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