I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
