Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
