I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
