Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
