if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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