What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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