If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
