youre lurking in front of me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
