We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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