and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize