Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
