No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize