I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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