For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wear drunk well.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
