on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
