office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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