those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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